Atheist Street Pirates—and Other Commentaries on Christianity

Story One: 12 Sandwich Boards. About 20 years ago, just a couple of weeks before Vacation Bible School at Markham Woods Church, where I was pastoring, I set 12 attractive white sandwich-boards, evenly spaced, along the 700 or 800 feet of our church property’s road frontage, advertising the upcoming VBS.

As a believer in the power of repetition, I thought that so many sandwich boards sitting along the roadside would guarantee that our VBS promo wouldn’t go unnoticed. And it didn’t.

Having completed my task, I left the church grounds to run a few errands. When I came back a couple of hours later, I discovered that every sandwich board was gone.

My first thought was that they’d been stolen—in broad daylight, mind you. What was our world coming to? Then someone in the church office suggested that I phone the county’s department of transportation—just in case they’d removed them. And, indeed, they had. 

The official on the other end of the line explained to me kindly but firmly that the sandwich boards had been impounded because they were a violation of the county’s regulations. Signage that was truly on private property could be displayed—but no signage of any kind was allowed anywhere on the road easement, especially not right next to the road, as I’d done. 

It made no difference that the church maintained the grass right up to the edge of the road. There was a legally designated setback in which it was not ours to do with as we might like. It had nothing to do with whether we were a house of worship or a warehouse or any other kind of entity. I was informed that the road easement was inviolable when it came to signage, whether permanent of temporary.

I apologized profusely and went to pick up the sandwich boards at the impound yard. All’s well that ends well, I thought, when I got the sandwich boards loaded up. But maybe I was brushing aside my faux pas too quickly and too casually. 

True, I was ignorant about the rules of roadside advertising. But it could be that many passers-by would have been knowledgeable. And knowing that such sign placement was illegal, they might well have viewed our congregation as a “scofflaw” religious organization that felt we were entitled to turn a blind eye to any laws we didn’t like or that we thought could get away with not obeying. 

As Andre Agassi famously said years ago: “Image is everything.” And as others have noted: People’s perception is their reality. I may well have been doing a greater disservice to the image and credibility of my congregation—and Christianity as a whole—than I realized at the time. 

Story Two: A Huge Mural. Back in 2016, managers at the Holy Land Experience theme park in Orlando decided to beautify the retaining wall that abutted their property and that supported the exit ramp from I-4 onto Conroy Road, as well as supported Conroy Road as it rose to the level of the overpass over I-4.

Without seeking permission from the department of transportation, which owned and maintained the retaining wall, the managers at the Holy Land Experience turned the face of the wall into a huge, professionally airbrushed mural. It was a major undertaking. And it didn’t come cheaply. But it was illegal. 

The quality of the painting wasn’t the issue for most of those who complained about what had been done. It was the fact that it had been done without permission. It wasn’t their property. That fact alone changed it from a mural into graffiti—because graffiti, by definition, is “artwork,” either done well or done badly, that has been applied to some surface without gaining permission from the owner or controller of that surface.  

In part because the illicit mural had religious overtones, the Freedom From Religion Foundation filed suit. Which led to major discussions and negotiations between the Holy Land Experience and the department of transportation. The result? The huge mural was painted over and returned to its natural color. No more mural. And even a paint-over doesn’t come cheaply.

But that wasn’t the only result of the Holy Land Experience’s ill-advised action. It contributed considerably to a growing sense that Christian groups—because of their majority status and self-perceived closeness to God and the importance of their mission—seem to feel entitled to do whatever they please, irrespective of applicable rules, regulations and laws. Such a perception definitely erodes goodwill within the community toward Christians and Christian entities. And that perception is by no means limited to the Orlando area.

Story Three: Atheist Street Pirates. In Los Angeles, the problem of illegal Christian signage seems particularly acute, which has led to the formation of a unique vigilante—my term, not theirs—network called Atheist Street Pirates. The group reports Christian signage violations to the appropriate governmental authorities. But if the authorities are too slow in taking action, the Atheist Street Pirates do their job for them. 

Here’s how these “local activists that track and remove illegal religious signage” lightheartedly describe themselves on their website:

Ahoy, me hearties! 

Religious scallywags are littering our highways, streets, and neighborhoods with unwelcome and illegal street propaganda. 

This is a broadside attack on our beautifully diverse cities and the land laws protecting the separation of ship and state. 

The Atheist Street Pirates have set sail to scuttle their efforts! 

We don’t care which Captain they follow or what they believe about Davy Jones’ locker... if their signs were illegally marooned, our pirates will report or plunder. 

As long as we keep port in your city it will stay welcome for all! Savvy?

Yo-ho-ho my friend!

While they may use humor, they’re deadly serious about their contempt for Christians who seem to feel free to—illegally—attach to tall utility poles signs promoting Jesus and Christianity. Or to—illegally—attach such banners or signs to bridges. Or to—illegally—dig holes on public property for posts that will support signboards of substantial size. 

The Atheist Street Pirates claim that since 2020, they’ve tracked more the 12,000 illegal Christian signs and “plundered” more than 6,000 of them. Unfortunately, the belief that some Christians seem to have is that it’s their right to put up signs when and where they choose. And when their signs are torn down by godless atheists, they’re being persecuted for righteousness’ sake.

The fact is, they aren’t being persecuted. And it isn’t because of righteousness. It’s because their thinking is too narrow. It’s because they’ve forgotten the apostle Paul’s declaration in Romans 13:2 that “whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.” And a negative  judgment in the court of public opinion may be just as damaging as one rendered in a court of law. It can “bring the way of truth into disrepute” (2 Peter 2:2).

But for the Atheist Street Pirates, the persistence of ill-advised Christians in ignoring reasonable laws is a gift that keeps on giving, because media outlets—whether radio, television, print or Internet, and whether local, national or international—are quick to publicize the incongruity demonstrated by people who seem to believe that it’s quite OK to break the law as long as they’re doing it for Jesus.