What Could Have Been, But Wasn’t

About thirty years ago, the Markham Woods Pathfinders went on a December camping trip to Lake Mills, out near Chuluota, Florida. The nights were forecast to drop to a frosty 27 or 28 degrees. 

Now I happen to love camping in cold weather. But I don’t like getting cold! So on such ventures, I always make sure I have appropriate clothing—long pants, undershirt, shirt, sweatshirt, coat, stocking cap, gloves—anything else I might need to appropriately layer so I can cope with increasing or decreasing temperatures.

I also make sure I have a good sleeping bag, because I plan to spend my night “as snug as a bug in a rug.” And I try to encourage everyone else on the venture to likewise be prepared. 

Despite my seasoned advice, one of the Pathfinders turned up with an extremely light sleeping bag. When I saw what he’d brought, I knew it would be inadequate. But no problem: I’d thrown in a couple of extra higher-quality sleeping bags just for such situations. So I lent him one of those to ensure a toasty night of winter camping. Not sure how much warmth he’d need, he slipped one bag inside the other, rather keeping the lighter bag on standby, just in case.

What I didn’t know was that his tent mate had forgotten his sleeping bag altogether. Maybe because the Pathfinder without a sleeping bag was shy about asking for help, or maybe because he decided he could just tough it out and sleep on the tent floor in whatever he was wearing—whatever the reason, he didn’t tell anyone how ill-prepared he was. He didn’t tell even his fellow Pathfinder who was in the tent with him and had an extra sleeping bag! The upshot was that the boy with no sleeping bag experienced a horrendously miserable night.

 But I knew nothing about all that until the next day.

In the morning, I asked the Pathfinder to whom I lent the sleeping bag how he’d slept. “Terribly!” he exclaimed. “I didn’t need two sleeping bags. I got so hot I felt I was burning up all night. But the worst thing was the chattering teeth of the guy in the tent with me. His teeth chattered all night long. And he moaned and groaned and thrashed around like he couldn’t find a comfortable position. I scarcely slept at all.”

Wow! One boy had at least a lightweight sleeping bag that he didn’t need. The other had no sleeping bag at all but desperately needed something to keep him warm. One boy had the capacity to offer help but didn’t realize that a need existed right there in his own tent. And the boy with the desperate need, for whatever reason, didn’t ask for help or even let anyone know he had a need.

The moral of this story is straightforward: (1) Too often people with a capacity and a desire to help aren’t aware of great needs that exist right under their nose, so to speak. And (2) people with great need often don’t know where to find help, who to ask for help, or that help is even available. Thus the ones in need don’t have their burdens lifted, and the ones who would like to help don’t have the joy of helping. As a society, we need to do a much better job getting the gifts of the willing to those with the need.

Now let’s move on to another—but not-altogether-different—subject: At Graceworx, we haven’t done as good a job of searching for people who would welcome the opportunity to use their time, talent and treasure to do things that would benefit our congregation and our community. So one of my New Year’s resolutions is to take steps to start remedying that situation. 

I’m inviting you to complete the Participation and Ideas Inventory included below. Just hit Reply, then indicate all the roles in which you would be willing to participate. Then send the Inventory back to me. Note that we’re also using this form to update our information about you. And we’re giving you the opportunity to share your observations about how we could do things better at Graceworx. So please don’t be shy about sharing your feelings, whether they’re positive, indifferent or negative. Thanks for your help with this.

If there are others in your household who don’t receive my Friday night emails, please forward this one to them so everyone will get a chance to indicate their participation preferences, share their ideas, and update their personal information. 

Thanks. Gracias. Merci. Danke. Obrigado. 

Happy New Year!